Tribute to a hurting child

I see you, child, I look into your eyes, and I know the pain that those liquid depths hold...I feel your hurt, I feel your heart, and I can sense the passion that your soul haunts you with. I can relate. The unwarranted guilt, the mistrust of every being, the connection that you long to feel...

Hurt, hide, flee...

Child, if only you could know what your life could be if you could only let go...surrender...fall into His strong arms...

He is strong, He is loving, He is secure. But you're afraid of Him. Afraid of me. Afraid of yourself. These chains that haggle with your soul are thick and they are strong. Are you afraid to be without them?

Hurt, hide, flee...

Open your heart, sweet child...let even a small shaft of Light in, and then you will know...you cannot survive any longer without it. Open up. Listen. Understand. Love will hold you to the very end...

...and back.

--Noelle Mathison, September 2009

No distractions

No matter how big or how small, there are things in everybody's life -- including mine -- that dwell on the sidelines of our devotion...screaming, waving their arms, jumping up and down...vying furiously for your attention.

As they say, the Lord is a Gentleman (THE perfect One :), and He doesn't rip things out of your mind and heart that are, to one degree or another in an unhealthy way, dear to you. BUT -- He loves us too much to leave us the way we are.

He also doesn't work against our will. Often, the reason that things in our lives, that we are anxious to have worked out in our minds and hearts, take so long is this: because no matter how much we think we're ready to give up and give all to the Lord, no matter how much we think we're ready to submit, surrender, yield to the workings of His glory -- we are still stubborn, prideful, and rebellious in nature (thanks Adam and Eve! :P). And so even if we'd like to think we've given up and given all to God, it usually takes a lot longer than we think.

But God knows what He's doing, and in His Mercy, He works things out in our lives, always in different ways, that He knows is going to bring us to a point where we're ready to give Him all the glory and all our lives. Our hearts -- our affections...everything. He wants it all. He doesn't want half-hearted, wimpy Christianity, or folks that are Christians on Sundays, and "regular people" the rest of the week. No -- He wants all of us, all the time. And if we're truly "in it" (our lives) for Him, He gives us the desire for Him -- all of Him, all the time.

So that's a huge lesson I've been learning lately -- one that, in this case, is taking a lot of pain and tears.

Come quickly, Lord Jesus!